Sunday fun with Familly

Thanksgiving

I have typed and retyped this post several times sooooooooooooooooo I've decided just to list those things that I am thankful for:

I am thankful for:

• A country where we vote for our leaders
• A country that allows debate on issues without fear of retribution
• A job that has health insurance benefits
• A house that has not devalued
• Children who even though they are grown, know that they can come home to live no matter how old they are.
• My girls who both work two floors away from me
• My Sweet husband who is looking to work nearer to home
• My son-in-law who despite the down economy has managed to make a connection in his field of study. (We are hope this turns into a job offer)
• My dad who is very healthy
• My brothers who keep the promise we made to our mother to take care of dad.

Take a moment to reflect on the things in your life that you can be thankful for today.

Ciao

Do you have a car?

I have never given it a second thought about having a car, but yesterday I was chatting with my godfather's daughter on facebook, and she asked me if I had a car.
I kind of ached inside because I realized that a car for her is a status symbol. To me a car is nothing. . . . it is necessary. . . . . I have never been without . . . . . I have never given it a second thought.
I gathered from several of her comments that she was struggling. . . . she is depressed. . . . she has poor health. . . . heavy smoker. . . . over weight. . . .alone. . . . no job. . . . sad. . . . . We are one year different in age. . . . . both have been divorced. . . . she lost both parents when she was young. . . . she lives 1000 miles from the town we both grew up in. . . . she has an uncle and and aunt in the town we grew up in, but she rarely contact them . . . she used to be very very smart, but she has always had limited social skills. Her Sicilian family was a bit crazy. . . . they would get mad and not talk to each other for years. . . . and they really were never nice to her mom who wasn't Italian. . . . so she grew up with issues. Her dad. . . . my godfather. . . . was really a character. . . . he introduced my mom and dad. . . . . he had several pizza parlors. . . . . he loved to sing Italian songs. . . . . and my fondest memory is of him playing gin rummy with his mom and dad, my mom and dad, and all of us little kids running around. . . . .
I tried to cheer her up. . . . tell her stories about her grandmother and grandfather. . . . her uncle. . . . she mentioned that her x had been abusive. . . . mean. . . . her kids live in the city she is living in. . . . the climate is really cold . . . . . Life is really not fun for her. . . . I asked her if she had friends. . . . had a church . . . . she mentioned that she had had some. . . .I assumed she was talking about friends. . . .
I have been a little sad all day. . . . I am sorry for her. . . . I talked to my daughter about her. . . . I don't know how you break the cycle. . . . I can't fix it. . . . makes me remember to be thankful for the normal things like a car.
I wish her some happiness in her life. . . .
Ciao

I'm always the bad guy!

In our dealings with the Dexter. . . . I have to be the bad guy all the time. . . . At 8 months old the little Terrier Terror has to be disciplined. He is smart. . . . wirey. . . . full of energy. . . . and very much like a baby. . . . everything is a new fun adventure. . . . After we came back from the coast. . . .there had been several issues. . . . . Dexter for no reason at all. . . . kept peeing on the carpet. . . . he had been having poop parties in the house. . . . and the lady who cleaned the house said that the house smelled.
Well if Brenda says the house smells that is enough for me. Sooooooooooooo I announced. . . . again having to be the bad guy. . . . that I wasn't going to have a dog that kept messing in the house. . . .either he gets that figured out or he is going to have to go. . . . .now what would you think the reaction in the house would be. . . .everyone (there are 4 other adults in the house besides me) started to make major efforts. . . . to get the dog outside. . . . to give him some play time and some discipline. . . .and at the recommendtion of the puppy school leader. . . . . we bought this organic stuff called NoGo. I cleaned the carpet and then sprayed the No Go on the carpet. . . . do you know that Dexter has not had one accident . . . . Dex has been a model citizen. . . . but again. . . . everyone wants him around when he is in his pet me calm mode. . . .however the dog is able switch at a blink of an eye into Dexter the Demon Dog who wants all the attention. . . and starts to act like a 3 year old. . . . it is especially annoying because nobody wants to put the dog in his cage at night. Me . . . Mom of a 21 year old and a 25 year old has to put the dog in the cage because I am the bad guy.
Sheeeeshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Oh well . . . . Dexter goes in the cage as a kid goes into the crib. . . . it is a comfort to him. . . . . he doesn't cry . . . it is his safety net. . . . it reminds me of how I would wrap the girls up in the blanket like a little papoose. . . .it was a comfort. . . the tight blanket. . . the smell. . . . their bed. . . their room. . . .kind of that womb feeling.
Dogs. . . .love them. . . . . exercise them. . . . discipline them. . . . I hope that all this will make for a good little companion for the next 10 years or however long we have together.
Ciao

Ft Hood Texas

I am a little numb right now. . . . . I am not sure what to say or how to react. . . . . there are events that you never forget. . . . . the shuttle disaster. . . . . the Luby killer who drove into the front of the restaurant through the wall and then started shooting . . . . . the sight of the twin towers falling and the reality that it was an airplane that caused it. . . . . . . those things never leave your memory. . . . . the shooting at Ft Hood is one of those. . . . it will be an event where everyone can recall exactly what they were doing. . . . how they felt. . . . I am sad. . . . the base is not far from where I live. . . . we all live and work with military people or ex military people. Sweetie has worked on Ft. Hood. . . . thank God he was not working there now.
It will be a long sad night . . . .
Ciao

Impromptu Dinner

Just when I think we can't manage to get along with all these adults in the house. . . . . #1daughter and I leave work earlier than our norm. . . . . we get home. . . . . walk the dog. .. . . come back to hear the Principessa saying her "friend" is coming for pasta and meatballs. . . . . I look around at the house. . . . and her sister and I start to pick up. . . . . the Principessa finally cleaned out the boxes that had been laying in the living room. . . . . now they were unpacked. . . . finally. . . . . we took the boxes to the burn pile. . . .4 adults all working together to prep the house for an impromptu dinner with the Principessa's "friend". . . . all the while. . . . my sweet man. . . . is basically pouting. . . . . he is mad over the fact that I keep having to clean up. . . . . I don't really care. . . . . I can't deal with a dirty kitchen. . . . . he opts out of the meal . . . . the conversation. . . . . my kids. . . . well they are upset. . . . they don't understand. . . . frankly. . . . I can't explain it away. . . . . as my dad would say, "What ya gonna do, huh?". . . .

We had a great time. . . . . the kids and me. . . . . . by 8:30. . . . Sweet man. . . . . in the bed. . . . where am I . . . . . watching the Sopranos. . . . by myself. . . . downstairs . . . . . . final episode. . . . . did I say by myself. . . . for God's sake I have been by myself for 6 months. . . . . OK I' regaining calm . . . .

Overall. . . . . I am proud that the Prinicipessa used my mother's meatball recipe. . . . . she did a great job. . . . . I love that my kids feel comfortable inviting anyone over. . . . . on a moment's notice. . . . that was how I was raised. . . . . my mom always had my aunt or one of my cousins . . . . . some one I was related to at the evening meal. . . . . .

The girls. . . . . . . they got their grandma's love of food and family.

It doesn't get better than that for me.

Having a house full.

My oldest daughter's husband has not worked for a year. . . . . she has let him know that he has to get a job. . . . a job that he has to go to everyday. . . . . .something that brings in some money. She feels that the only way to get him motivated is to tell him that they are not moving out of my house until he has a job. . . . . my son-in-law. . . . did not want to come to Texas. . . . did not want to live in my house. . . . . but since she had the job. . . . there wasn't much debate. We live in a medical area. . . . that means that the majority of the jobs are related to health care. His degree is in graphic arts. . . . he is the age of one of the largest unemployed group in the US. . . . . there are no jobs in his field. . . . so jobs overall are scarce. . . . I don't anticipate them leaving anytime soon because I think he figures that #1daughter will finally get sick of living here at the house. . . . .#1 daughter is serious. . . . he will get a job doing something or they stay here. . . . keep you posted.

Principessa . . . did not want to work at the hospital . . . wanted to work in Austin and go to school. . . . but the jobs in nursing were not in Austin. . . . so she lives with us. . . works at the local hospital. . . commutes to school. . . . . she is messy. . . . . she can live messy for a long time. . .. she eventually will clean up. . . . but her mother. . . .that would be the Sicilian. . . . doesn't deal with messy . . . . I have been shutting the door to her room for years. . . . .but the kitchen. . . . . . . well . . . . I can't stand the kitchen not being cleaned up . . . . . so what has been happening. . . . before her sister. . . . my son-in-law. . . and my sweet husband came home is that the Sicilian Mamma. . . . would bite her lip. . . . clean up the kitchen. . . . load the dishwasher. . . . unload the dishwasher. . . . pick up all the messes. . . . my way of getting along. . . . I wasn't happy. . . . but confrontations with her are very similar to confrontations with her father. . . . I become the bitch. . . . I am the one with the problem. . . . and then the final words from her mouth will be don't pile my stuff up. . . . since she was a little girl. . . . she leaves stuff everywhere. . . . I always picked it up. . . and put it in her room. . . . she hates for me to do that. . . . she yelled at her sister for doing that. . . .she yelled at me this week for doing it. . . . but I just bite my tongue. . . . and let her yell.

All this is where it is at. . . . my husband married a woman with grown kids. . . . her kids were nearly raised and out of the house. . . . He inherited a family. It is very difficult to live together even though there is plenty of room. . . . . we are struggling with the meals. . . . the picking up. . . . the day to day stuff. . . but I can tell you what I really have enjoyed is the daily ride to work with my #1daughter. . . . it reminds me of the times when I used to pick them up from school. . . . we had a 20 minute drive to and from school. . . . in the morning I was usually struggling to stay awake after working a night shift. . . . . but in the afternoon. . . . they would talk. . . . I would hear about their day. . . . it was the best part of my day because it was a chance to connect. . . . . I always drove. . . . I never had anyone to share the commute. . . . and now. . . . I know that those after school trips were my favorite time.

We get that now. . . . . we talk going into work. . . . she kisses me and hugs me when we separate to go to our different floors. . . . . we sometimes eat lunch. . . . not very often. . . . I am starving earlier than she is. . . . but at the end of the day. . . we wind down on the commute. . . . we talk about the day. . . . when we get home. . . . we usually try to walk the dog together. . . . we continue our discussions. . . . as hard as it is . . . . I am glad for these times with her. . . . . I know that I would give anything to have my nightly conversations with my mom. . . . . my mom made time for all of us. . . . we all spoke to her everyday. . . . I bet my brothers miss those conversations too.

So that is the life of the Sicilian right now. . . . I am glad they are here . . . . . they are wonderful young women. . . . this is a brief moment in time. . . . I plan to make the best of it. . . . I realize that at this moment in time. . . . we are so much better off than so many others.

Ciao